Once an auto-rickshaw driver told me the mother of all ‘quotes.’

He said, stay away from four kinds of quotes in life. These were khaki quotes (meaning policemen), white quotes (doctors), black quotes (lawyers obviously) and the penultimate, petti-quotes!!!!

Arunesh Dogra: polly is asking for ‘quotes’ again, we should give him some
Ankit Chadha: ya
Ankit Chadha: lets do that
Arunesh Dogra: yes, quote-le aam!
Arunesh Dogra: saala quote-a sikka!
Ankit Chadha: this ones for the IPL season: feroz shah quote-la
Ankit Chadha: wat else?
Ankit Chadha: rain-quote
Arunesh Dogra: bichare me koi quote nahin
Ankit Chadha: quote and bowled
Arunesh Dogra: where is ‘hardquote butler’
Arunesh Dogra: what bites palash at night?
Ankit Chadha: no idea
Arunesh Dogra: Mausi-quote-toe
Ankit Chadha: which kind of shirts does palash prefer?
Arunesh Dogra: dunno
Ankit Chadha: 100% quote-ton
Arunesh Dogra: once palash was travelling…where was he going?
Ankit Chadha: pathan-quote?
Arunesh Dogra: to Faridquote
Arunesh Dogra: where does he go gambling?
Arunesh Dogra: Quote-man-do
Arunesh Dogra: bachpan mein (this is a bad one) aunty ne baby palash to kya bola
Arunesh Dogra: chooo quooooote
Arunesh Dogra: bas

What is the speed at which a balloon travels?

People who have been told the answer are requested not to disclose it. People who have not been told the answer are expected not to use any law of physics.

Arunesh Dogra: palash ka doosra quote kya tha?
Ankit Chadha: ek hi toh tha
Arunesh Dogra: do the
Arunesh Dogra: hum hain mafia killers
Arunesh Dogra: over-quote!
Arunesh Dogra: palash ki biwi ka quote kya hai?
Ankit Chadha: misquote?
Arunesh Dogra: correct
Arunesh Dogra: palash roj subhere kya karta hai?
Arunesh Dogra: chai ke saath…
Ankit Chadha: tying the langot
Arunesh Dogra: bis-quote!
Ankit Chadha: palash jab 1 lakh quotes batayega
Ankit Chadha: toh uss event ko kya bolenge?
Arunesh Dogra: quote-ah sikka?
Ankit Chadha: no
Arunesh Dogra: tell
Ankit Chadha: peti-quote

Okay here’s another killer for all of you (including for Mr Ghoda… hiin hiin hiin)

Why is marriage a blunder for women?

Ghoda agar ghaans se dosti karega, toh khayega kya?

In which country are people waiting all the time?

Which famous Italian is also considered the godfather of Kuwaiti milkshakes?

How would you describe a yellow journalist?

[Hint: in one word, an adjective]

Why is non-veg food more popular than veg food?