Wednesday, November 25th, 2009 | Author:

Having watched this film last night, all I can say is that I wish life would’ve ended somewhere during the first 20 minutes of the movie. I wasn’t warned at all. It was a toss up between watching Kurbaan and 2012 and I thought an English movie would end sooner!!! Well, now I know better!!!

If you’ve seen the movie you’ll know what I mean when I say that I was hoping for a real earthquake or even a minor cataclysm to relieve me!!! It was like watching a Hindi movie that boasts the emotive prowess of Dharmendra, Pankaj Parashar and Kumar Gaurav, set off by the acting talent of Zeenat Aman, Poonam Dhillon and Ranjita. If you belong to my generation, you will know what I mean.

John Cusack is not only looking old and fat, his mouth is slowly shrinking into a full stop. The only time his face breaks into an expression is when he has to say really long words like “shifting tectonic plates.” After all, one can say “RUN FOR YOUR LIFE” while making sure you don’t crack the face paint at all. Try it – you can do it without moving your lips. And Cusack has perfected this technique.

The box office collections for 2012 finally moved me to watching the film. But the story line was more predictable than a B-grade Govinda movie. Let me give you an example. This massive volcano erupts and throws up hot ash and lava all over the place, always barely missing Mr. Cusack and company – just like the bad guys shooting at Govinda while he miraculously dodges each bullet.

The only thing unpredictable about the film was its length!!! And boy, was it long. When they stopped the film for intermission, I was surprised, to say the least. I had been thinking that we were almost done with all the quaking and flooding of the world. Imagine my consternation when I realized we were only half-way through!!!

The only thing the film has going for it, to be completely fair, is its amazing graphic artists. In fact, if we take out the actors and the plot, the special effects and computer graphics might make the film more watchable. All I can say is that the Mayans were wrong. The world will die of boredom in 2009.

Don’t complain – Now You Have Been Warned!!!

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3 Responses

  1. 1
    Harish 

    🙂 I am sure your post is more entertaining than the movie.

  2. 2
    Palash 

    not single moment was boring. he did better than day after tomorrow’. The film was HUGE in every respect. Be it the imaginative story, the treatment of characters, drama, graphics. There is no comparison, but Tum Mile (another mumbai flood) story was running parallel. Dwarf like. I am not very hopeful of Indians making such stuff, in the next 5 years. I saw kamal hasan’s dasaratham. Pain in the …, shabby, amateur like.

    Romila, 2009 is yet to complete, wait for desi flicks dhobi ghaat, 2 idiots, rakhta charitra, bombay velvete, ravana.

  3. I’ve been trying to explain the same thing to my friends but I think it’s easier if I just send them the link to this site instead. Thankyou for such an informative post.Hey!

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