Wednesday, February 18th, 2009 | Author:

Marriage… It doesn’t matter whether it is love or arranged, important is happy married life and it depends on personal understanding of couple, so we can’t say which is better or which is bad.

If I start comparing love and arranged marriages we will see that both has certain pros and cons. Most of the people have perception in their mind that arranged marriages are ideal marriages. But from my point of view it’s not true .there are certain things, which are found in love marriages and not in arranged. Like spending time together and getting to know each other. Because when you have decided to spend the life together it is important you know the person. There should be mental compatibility and understanding among both of you. And this happens when you spend time together. On this people may argue that even after knowing each other for so long then why people get divorced after marriage. It is because when two people are in love they are at their best to impress each other. They behave, they talk and they wear what the other person likes. But it is after marriage that you get to know the real person. There are couples who are still discovering each other even after twenty years of their marriage. This is the actual beauty of a relationship where everyday you discover a new thing about your partner.

In case of arranged marriages the relation starts when the girl and the boy get to know each other in a couple of meeting before the final commitment. Before deciding anything the parents check the family background and financial stability. Which is also very important. As most of the people have an idea that those who go for arranged marriages are not in an advantageous position but it’s not so you may get the right person for whom you have been waiting. Even in love marriages after many years of courtship people find their partner not suitable and they break up. So it is not about spending time together but successful marriage is all about understanding and respecting each other’s feelings, love and concern. It is argued that love marriages offer more independence and freedom as compared to arranged marriages since both of them knows each other so the social pressure and family pressure is less. If you know somebody before marriage it allows partners to have better respect and understanding for each other’s needs and desires. In love marriages expectations are more compared to arrange marriages, as they know each other and want their partner to act in the best possible manner. But sometimes these expectations become harmful.

Love or arranged both is based on empathy, responsibility, commitment, love and concern. So it’s not just about initial love and attraction it needs a lot of dedication and effort to sustain a marriage. So there is nothing like an ideal marriage it’s all about the way you perceive your marriage. After all you should be happy with your life partner irrespective of love or arranged marriage.

Personally speaking I would prefer an arranged marriage. Now the question why? In Arrange…whole family is involved. both one have a mind set to respect each other later on when understanding start growing between each other…then anything may come up if it’s in favor then good…if not in favor then family will be the most supportive at that time. But In love marriage…in difficult situation…all we have to manage our self… even families are helpless in few cases.

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4 Responses

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    Hi Poonam,
    Nice article.Your views about marriage are really interesting.
    But what i think is that a marriage is only a marriage.its not love marriage or arrange marriage.Like any other thing you have to invest into it to make it happen.

    The fights and conflicts are inevitable in a marriage.But one should always try to respect and appreciate the differences and solve them rationally.

    Till there is space for two I’s and one WE in a marriage , i think nothing can go wrong.

  3. 3

    Nice one Poonam.

  4. 4

    Hi Poonam!

    I appreciate your efforts promoting an arranged marraige. Give you more credits when you said “In love marriages expectations are more compared to arrange marriages”.

    Nice to read my opinions coming out of your mind!!

    Well Said Ritu!

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