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Monday, May 10th, 2010 | Author:

NEWS : Now Entertainment With Special-effects

“The characters in this blog are fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.”

Aliens do not drink cow’s milk but they use it to prepare tea and coffee when they are tired. After traveling from such a long distance to Earth anyone would feel tired. Let’s talk to Hrithik Roshan to ask Jadoo to recommend them a Georgia coffee machine so that our cows are safer.

Please dial MTNL toll free number 1504 to suggest him some ideas to elude cold. I called on this number and told him that it is just because of your height, i suggested him to not to stand tall as air on higher altitude is rare and temperature in substantially low.

Correspondent: Ab aap chhajje se kood chuki hain, aap ko kaisa mehsoos ho raha hai?
Billi: In sawalo ki hata aur pehle ye bata ki dhakka kisne maara tha?
Correspondent: Aap 6 ghante se waha fasi rahi aapko darr nahi laga?
Billi: Ye mere roj ka kaam hai jiska tum logo ne tamasha bana diya.
Correspondent: Kya aap janti hain poora desh aapko Billo Rani bula raha hai?
Billi: Lagta hai ab Bipasha ke pet pe laat padne wali hai 😉 ….
Correspondent: Ye thi hamari apni Billo Rani jo 6ghante tak chhajje me fase rehne ke baad kood padee…. 26 January ko inhe bahaduri medal se sammanit kiya jayega. Cameraman Vinod ke sath mai Deepak Rangrasia, Akaal Tak.

Abhi abhi hamare vishwasneeya sutron se pata chala hai ki Commissioner sahab bhi  kutte ke sath lapata ho gaye hain. Unki wife ko abhi abhi Shashtri Nagar police station me jate huye dekha gaya hai:

Wife: I lost my Husband
Inspector: What is his height
Wife: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Wife: Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Color of eyes
Wife: Never noticed
Inspector: Color of hair
Wife: Changes according to season
Inspector: What was he wearing
Wife: suit/casuals I don’t remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him?
Wife: I think my Labrador dog, Calvin, tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together…. And the Wife started crying…..
Inspector: Let’s search for the dog first!!!!!!!

Himesh is scared now. He has started wearing Burkha so that aliens do not see him. Aliens now singing: jhalak dikhlaja – jhalak dikhlaja, ek baar aaja aaja aaja aaja aaaajaaa

Correspondent: You named your dogs ‘James’ and ‘Bond’ and you call yourself ‘Marathi hridaysamrat’.
Khaj Thakrey: Tula maiti kaye….?  Maajhe kutreya che nav ‘Bondhisatva’ aani ‘Jamitra’ aahe. (What do you know? My dogs’ names are ‘Bondhisatva’ and ‘Jamitra’).
Correspondent: Aapne apne kutto ko marathi naam diye hain… kya ye marathi manooooooooooooos ka apmaan nahi hai?
Khaj Thakrey: Me tula phodun takel, me tula kapun takel….. ki paaije tula…. (I will crush you….. I will cut you….. What do you want?)
JAI MARATHI MANOOOOOOOOS……… JAI MAHARASHTRA…..
Correspondent (Running): Aur ye the Khaj Thakrey jinhone apne kutto ka naam Marathi me rakha hai aur unhe angreji me bulate hain…… Bhagte huye Cameraman Sharad Talwar ke sath mai Rajeev Thukla bhagunga Ghar Tak.

Correspondent: Takhi ji kya wajah thi jo aapne Abhishek ko thappad laga diya?
Takhi: Sir, kya batau sir, hum dono Lonavala gaye the sir ghoomne ke liye sir aur usme mujhe waha ek Kiss kar diya sir.
Correspondent: Ek kiss ki itni badi saja?
Takhi: Nahi sir maine use bola ki aur kiss karo sir to usne mana kar diya sir isliye mai use thappad laga ke MIKA ke paas aa gayee sir.
Correspondent:
Aur ye thi meri, aapki aur poore desh ki NAARI Takhi Swayamwant, jo Abhishek ko Thappad laga ke MIKA ke paas aa gayee hain ( Nahi Nahi Abhishek Bachpan nahi Abhishek Jabarjasti). Ab dekhne wali baat ye hogi ki agar MIKA inke dance partner rahenge to Stage ka kya hoga?…. Cameraman Elesh Purujanwala ke sath mai Bhajat Karma, Aakhir Kab Tak.

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Is this how NEWS should be?
There are several incidences daily which remain uncovered because media people are too busy creating NEWS. I understand that if there is no NEWS then what do they do? Where do they arrange funds from to sustain? But, compromising on the quality of the NEWS just for TRP raises a question in my mind: A cop lying in front of a camera with one of his legs completely detached from his body, seeking for help and the journalist is not ready to help him because the person behind the camera is a journalist first. If they are choosing professionalism over humanity then after being a professional journalist why do they choose entertainment over real NEWS?

This is what you would like to see?
I would rather go and watch Doordarshan at 8.30 to 9.30pm than watching this crap.

Is there anything that can be done?
End of the day it is all about TRP. If we all stop giving importance to this kind of stuff i believe they will move to some real NEWS.

I know and i agree that i know very little about journalism but i surely know that “these channels are not BREAKING NEWS they are MAKING NEWS, i am not sure if they are also FAKING NEWS”.

Friday, March 06th, 2009 | Author:


Have you noticed clocks at TV commercials, print advertisements, I mean most of them. It shows Ten Ten. Often thought what the logic is behind it. The leading clock manufacturers imply that it is a standard some other confirmed sources justify by saying that that it (the positioning of the arms gives a smiley kind of look. There are rounds of theories that go around pertaining this standard practice such as timing of Lincoln’s assassination, the first bomb falling over Hiroshima, even Gandhiji’s watch recently auctioned bears that timing – 10:10. Some can argue what’s there in this time, it occur everyday over the years and it will, in years to come. Anyways, I never received a convincing answer which I have kept looking for many years.

Monday, February 16th, 2009 | Author:

Wherever I go and hear people talking about India Inc, the first thing I hear is “INDIA is the biggest growth market, next only to CHINA.” I do feel proud, as rest of my compatriots …. But, then I ask, why next to China? Why not the leading growth market? I believe that India has enough potential to overtake China in its pursuit for growth. Well, at least one person tends to agree with me on that respect. And, that person is none other than the CEO of the Google Inc, Eric Schmidt!!! In a statement made in 2006 (I know it seems slightly outdated, but India’s prospects haven’t changed in these years, have they?), he had emphasized that it is India and not China that is set to become the world’s biggest Internet market over the next five to ten years!!

INDIA – Where is the growth on the Internet?
I know you will be asking yourself (or me), if the above statement is true then – WHERE is the growth? India seems to be a rising star for the Internet but where is the presence of Indian companies on the net? When I go and search on the Google search engine, hardly do I see ads of Indian companies being displayed on the Google search page. Neither have I seen Indian companies utilizing one crucial tool offered by the web – Internet Marketing!! What to say of others, even the top Indian companies (the so called big wigs) are ignoring this powerful tool that can significantly enhance the visibility of these top-notch firms on the web. This is particularly disturbing given the fact that India has its share of high-quality Internet Marketing providers. And, these providers are increasingly being used by companies from world over to improve their net presence and customer awareness….

Popularity of Internet Marketing – The STATS
In fact, Internet Marketing is gaining strength over the other marketing media the world over. See the facts!! The Nielsen Monitor-Plus survey for 2007 (the year when cash crunch hit the US by force!!) has indicated that while the advertising spending in the country grew by just 0.6%, Internet ad spending rose by 18.9%. Don’t think I am US-centric. The rise in Internet marketing is not just limited to the US but is a phenomenon that is being seen in Europe and the UK. In fact, analysts in the UK are predicting that Internet will overtake television as the biggest advertising medium in 2009. Amazing, isn’t it? Or, is it “YAWN!! O come on Shalini, we have had enough of the stats! Can we now come to the punch line?”

Attitude of Indian Companies on Internet Marketing
Ok, so here I do. Let me get back to where I started. Where is India on the Internet Marketing scene? Except for being a country housing some of the most remarkable Internet Marketing providers, it is nowhere close to using this entire exciting marketing concept. When it comes to corporate biggies, they are spending millions on television, radio and even newspaper marketing, but when it comes to Internet Marketing, all they come up with is “This concept is interesting. We can use it later maybe but now, in this cash crunched market, we are not sure whether this we are ready for this!!” The difference in the marketing attitude of the cash-crunched West and the on-the-growth-radar India is palpable. And, so is the visibility and brand identity of Indian companies, which beyond doubt produce better products and services than their Western counterparts, but fall far behind in popularity and demand!! Need I say more on where India stands on the Internet and what it is missing?

I will be back with what Internet Marketing can do to our Indian companies, irrespective of their size, in my next blog!! Till then, cio.

Thursday, February 05th, 2009 | Author:

Everytime I switch on TV, there are more ads than programs. Sometimes it is even more interesting than watching a TV program. Sometimes, it is not. The interesting thing is there are many ads that are really interesting or meaningful or reflective of a deeper meaning. We notice some, forget some and love some.  Here are just a few that I have grown to love:

  • HDFC Standard life insurance with the slogan, “Sar  utha ke jiyo ” which is a very touching ad about an aged couple learning to grow old and financially independent with dignity – the dream in every middle class Indian family.
  • Bank of India’s piggy bank ad is one that truly tugs my heart.

  • Naukri’s famous Hari Sadu ad is so mean and hilarious that no one can forget it.
  • Fevicol ads are so funny and creative though we haven’t seen too many being ‘revised’ or ‘rehashed’ or updated as often as we would love to. The new one with Katrina in it was no fun at all.
  • HCL ad with the slogan, “technology that touches lives” is quite unrealistic and exaggerated.
  • Pears soap ad which featured a little girl closing her eyes and wanting to open it only when she can see her mom because her mom is her lucky talisman. I love this ad.
  • Sprint ads are so funny and clear headed. The “Bheja fry” ad is just awesome!
  • HSBC egg ad where you have a home maker making egg differently for different members of the family and then using an egg to put in her hair. It’s an ad conveying that different people have different needs.
  • Tata Sky Plus ad which features Aamir Khan and Gul Panag as a married couple with Aamir pretending to the dishes and grocery shopping for his wife and the clinch is what gets you at the end of the ad.

Tell me, which ones are your favorite ads?