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Monday, May 10th, 2010 | Author:

NEWS : Now Entertainment With Special-effects

“The characters in this blog are fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.”

Aliens do not drink cow’s milk but they use it to prepare tea and coffee when they are tired. After traveling from such a long distance to Earth anyone would feel tired. Let’s talk to Hrithik Roshan to ask Jadoo to recommend them a Georgia coffee machine so that our cows are safer.

Please dial MTNL toll free number 1504 to suggest him some ideas to elude cold. I called on this number and told him that it is just because of your height, i suggested him to not to stand tall as air on higher altitude is rare and temperature in substantially low.

Correspondent: Ab aap chhajje se kood chuki hain, aap ko kaisa mehsoos ho raha hai?
Billi: In sawalo ki hata aur pehle ye bata ki dhakka kisne maara tha?
Correspondent: Aap 6 ghante se waha fasi rahi aapko darr nahi laga?
Billi: Ye mere roj ka kaam hai jiska tum logo ne tamasha bana diya.
Correspondent: Kya aap janti hain poora desh aapko Billo Rani bula raha hai?
Billi: Lagta hai ab Bipasha ke pet pe laat padne wali hai 😉 ….
Correspondent: Ye thi hamari apni Billo Rani jo 6ghante tak chhajje me fase rehne ke baad kood padee…. 26 January ko inhe bahaduri medal se sammanit kiya jayega. Cameraman Vinod ke sath mai Deepak Rangrasia, Akaal Tak.

Abhi abhi hamare vishwasneeya sutron se pata chala hai ki Commissioner sahab bhi  kutte ke sath lapata ho gaye hain. Unki wife ko abhi abhi Shashtri Nagar police station me jate huye dekha gaya hai:

Wife: I lost my Husband
Inspector: What is his height
Wife: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Wife: Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Color of eyes
Wife: Never noticed
Inspector: Color of hair
Wife: Changes according to season
Inspector: What was he wearing
Wife: suit/casuals I don’t remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him?
Wife: I think my Labrador dog, Calvin, tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together…. And the Wife started crying…..
Inspector: Let’s search for the dog first!!!!!!!

Himesh is scared now. He has started wearing Burkha so that aliens do not see him. Aliens now singing: jhalak dikhlaja – jhalak dikhlaja, ek baar aaja aaja aaja aaja aaaajaaa

Correspondent: You named your dogs ‘James’ and ‘Bond’ and you call yourself ‘Marathi hridaysamrat’.
Khaj Thakrey: Tula maiti kaye….?  Maajhe kutreya che nav ‘Bondhisatva’ aani ‘Jamitra’ aahe. (What do you know? My dogs’ names are ‘Bondhisatva’ and ‘Jamitra’).
Correspondent: Aapne apne kutto ko marathi naam diye hain… kya ye marathi manooooooooooooos ka apmaan nahi hai?
Khaj Thakrey: Me tula phodun takel, me tula kapun takel….. ki paaije tula…. (I will crush you….. I will cut you….. What do you want?)
JAI MARATHI MANOOOOOOOOS……… JAI MAHARASHTRA…..
Correspondent (Running): Aur ye the Khaj Thakrey jinhone apne kutto ka naam Marathi me rakha hai aur unhe angreji me bulate hain…… Bhagte huye Cameraman Sharad Talwar ke sath mai Rajeev Thukla bhagunga Ghar Tak.

Correspondent: Takhi ji kya wajah thi jo aapne Abhishek ko thappad laga diya?
Takhi: Sir, kya batau sir, hum dono Lonavala gaye the sir ghoomne ke liye sir aur usme mujhe waha ek Kiss kar diya sir.
Correspondent: Ek kiss ki itni badi saja?
Takhi: Nahi sir maine use bola ki aur kiss karo sir to usne mana kar diya sir isliye mai use thappad laga ke MIKA ke paas aa gayee sir.
Correspondent:
Aur ye thi meri, aapki aur poore desh ki NAARI Takhi Swayamwant, jo Abhishek ko Thappad laga ke MIKA ke paas aa gayee hain ( Nahi Nahi Abhishek Bachpan nahi Abhishek Jabarjasti). Ab dekhne wali baat ye hogi ki agar MIKA inke dance partner rahenge to Stage ka kya hoga?…. Cameraman Elesh Purujanwala ke sath mai Bhajat Karma, Aakhir Kab Tak.

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Is this how NEWS should be?
There are several incidences daily which remain uncovered because media people are too busy creating NEWS. I understand that if there is no NEWS then what do they do? Where do they arrange funds from to sustain? But, compromising on the quality of the NEWS just for TRP raises a question in my mind: A cop lying in front of a camera with one of his legs completely detached from his body, seeking for help and the journalist is not ready to help him because the person behind the camera is a journalist first. If they are choosing professionalism over humanity then after being a professional journalist why do they choose entertainment over real NEWS?

This is what you would like to see?
I would rather go and watch Doordarshan at 8.30 to 9.30pm than watching this crap.

Is there anything that can be done?
End of the day it is all about TRP. If we all stop giving importance to this kind of stuff i believe they will move to some real NEWS.

I know and i agree that i know very little about journalism but i surely know that “these channels are not BREAKING NEWS they are MAKING NEWS, i am not sure if they are also FAKING NEWS”.